公主和金属党骑士（很老的东西，给没看过的看看吧）

runespirit

场景：一个美丽的公主被困在一个由一条龙把守的城堡里，下面是不同流派的金属党们充当骑士之后的故事结局:





HEAVY METAL:  
The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon,drinks some beers and fucks the princess  

GRIND METAL:  
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...  

POWER METAL:  
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and they make love in an enchanted forest  

THRASH METAL:the protagonist arrives, skull fucks the dragon, chugs a keg, headbangs in celebration of victory, grabs the princess and fucks her repeatedly


NSBM: The aryan protagonists arrives yelling 14/88 and looks for the Fraulein. He sends the jewish dragon to a concentration camp. The dragon contacts Israel and the protagonist is convicted under crimes of racism.  

BATTLE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footman, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.  

PORNOGRIND: The protagonist utters rapidly about body fluids during 40 seconds and eventually kills both the dragon and the princess out of disgust.  

TR00 KVLT BLACK METAL: The protagonist doesn't show up to fight the dragon

FOLK METAL:  
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, lutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (from all the dancing) protagonist leaves without the princess  

VIKING METAL:  
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his migthy axe, cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals the castle and burns the place before he leaves  

DEATH METAL:  
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves  

BLACK METAL:  
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in the front of the castle.....then sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.....then he impales the deflowered princess  

GORE METAL:  
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in the front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her....then he fucks again her dead body, slashes her belly open and eats her guts, fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time  

DOOM METAL:  
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks that he never could beat him, gets depressed and commits suicide....the dragon eats his body and the princess as well  

PROGRESSIVE METAL:  
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26 minutes, the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques learned in the last year of the conservatory... the princess escapes, and is now looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist  

GLAM METAL:  
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter, he steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color  

INDUSTRIAL METAL:  
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.